Hey folks, I’ve decided that I would like to do something a little different this week. This week I would like to honour someone near and dear to me. The apple of my eye, the apple in my pie, the cream cheese on my rye, the gravy on my fries, the whopping 6lbs of circuitry I have stubbornly carried in a tote bag on my right shoulder for the last 4 years because I am too stubborn to get a backpack at this point (sorry to my less buff left shoulder), my ‘puter!
My ‘puter has been through the long haul with me, braved the elements, and has (somewhat) held it together. In honour of his near retirement, I would like to share these pictures of his courage, integrity, and perseverance.
Meet my ‘puter! A GE62VR 6RF Apache Pro MSI (whatever the heck that all means). This is his story… 🥲. Also please do not judge me for the cleanliness of my ‘puter, k thanks!
His first blemish.
As you can see, he no longer has an “E” key. This is because the “E” and “V” keys stopped working out of nowhere and I thought it was a hardware issue. I decided to investigate and popped off the “E” key and lost the underlying mechanism and the key 👍. Sorry buddy.
But look! He has a new keyboard with all of its keys! Oh, wait.
This is ‘puter’s external keyboard. It is an Apple keyboard because that is all I had lying around (sorry PC master race). I can make up for my filthy Apple consumer casualism by noting that the “F2” button is missing, so there’s that.
Ok, this one isn’t my fault… I swear!!!
This one was my lovely boyfriend’s doing. He was being a manly man and carrying my tote bag for me and decided to drop my bag 😐. However, I can’t give him all the credit for its current state, it didn’t look like this on impact. It looks like this due to the sheer force of my opening and closing it too fast despite its weak shell.
Ahh to be a useless (and broken) optical drive.
That’s the life! Why did I insist on getting a device with an optical drive in the mid 2010’s? To burn totally rad and legit CD mixtapes for my friends, obviously.
Shhh if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist.
Alright, I don’t have a picture for this one because it’s internal. Also, this one is a big one, arguably the least fixable unless I’m willing to open up my ‘puter, which I’m not (I don’t want to be guilted by all the dust I am sure to find). Tis’ my Bluetooth. My Bluetooth cuts in and out no matter what device I use and it’s super, duper annoying, so I am forced to use wired headphones in 2022.
My mouse for good measure.
This isn’t anything really wrong with my trackpad, I just find it inconvenient and not very ergonomic for prolonged use.
I’m sure there are other quirks I am forgetting, but these are the glaringly obvious ones. So, with that, I will end this by saying…
You’ve done well old chap!! Almost there… just 40ish more days of overheating hellfire for you and you can rest in sweet dusty solitude in the back of my closet with my 2012 MacBook Pro and my GoPro hero 3.